Hahaha it's hilarious. Amusing. fascinating. when people who have shit and are shit. think they are so much better then everyone else. meanwhile they live this big lie, jealous and bitter that someone else has what they always wanted so all they can do is talk down to them and pretend they don't care. but if they didn't care they wouldn't take the time to talk about it over and over. they wouldn't take the time to try and look at what they don't have.

If it's a girl, her name will be Arabella.

This from now on, is my pregnant journal..because..well I'm preganant, and I would like to tell my livejournal friends just not the one's I really know in real life.

So I'm about 4 weeks..been eating like a horse...blahblah..went to planned parent hood today to get a definitive check, and it was positive, so now I need to get insurance..

Last night Jacob came over, and I was surprised since we had spent all day together, I wasn't expectign him to stay the night again, but he did, and it was the first night we just slpet and didn't mess around. i woke up and his arm was around me, I turned over to get comfortable and his arms got tighter around me. For the first time I wanted to say I love you. I didn't. And I don't know if I really do, but this morning, waking with his bare body next to mine, and his arms around me I wanted to say it so badly.

I don't believe this. I just found out that Joe would always try to get with this girl at work WHILE I WAS LIVING WITH HIM! He would always ask her out and for her number, but she knew about me, so he'd tell her that we were broken up, but his mom was still letting me live there. How could he do that to me? I just don't get it. I really don't know what to do. I just called him about it, he denied it, and was quiet for the most part. I really don't want to see him any more. But I'm afraid I'll give in and call him. Gosh I'm going to be sick.
I want revenge..I dunno what to do thuogh, I hate him so much for making me feel this way.

"and all the time i was loving you
all your slick moves they were once innocent moves
i wanted to look up to you
i really trusted you
and every word you said

in there every word
oh oh
how could you have done that to us

i was loving you like a child
all the time you were smiling the same smile
i was loving you like a child
i really trusted you

every word you said
every word you said
love is what the word was" -sade

sorry kids most of these entries will be friends only

I called Joe last night and told him to leave me alone, not to call me, that I didn't want to see him any more..I'm still in disbelief. I can't help but wonder what other gitls he "hung out" with..now I'm recalling that number I found in his dresser, like 3 numbers I found in his phone that he always made exuses for..I've been so blind! I'm such an idiot! I refuse to take anymore, I won't get hurt like this by him again. But I know if I see or talk to him he'll make me change my mind, that's why I'm not letting myself near him...now I'm going off go cry

"I don't fancy you too much child
you think your cute you think your fine
your always trying to steal my shine
get off of me
don't ask for me
u know who u are!
you always try to compete with me girl using me girl
abusing me girl
flirting with every man u see
espeacially if the man likes me
baby where's your self asteem find your own identity
your head aint right
if you didn't know then, now you know
roll those eyes girl
twist them hips girl
if you wonder why you never had a girlfriend i think i made myself clear"

just a song I love

I feel as if I'm always looking for something that doesn't exist, always looking for answers or satisfaction, liek I'm always thirtsy, but can never drink enough because I'm never satisfied. I feel under water, weightless and it sucks..I can't move but I'm trying

I don't know what to do with myself